You're So Lame... You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

One of the greatest mysteries in pop culture has been revealed... allegedly.

38 years ago, Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" hit the airwaves. Since the release of this seminal hit, the real life subject of the song has been a constant source of speculation. Everyone from Spiro Agnew to Patti Smith has been considered to be the one with "the apricot scarf" who likes to watch him / herself "gavotte".

Despite constant winks and nods on the matter from Simon herself (like every time she releases a new album), it is has been a generally accepted belief that it was Warren Beatty whose horse naturally won in Saratoga. He in fact called Simon on the telephone to thank her for the little ditty.

Turns out that phone call was indeed in vain. The Mystery ... *ahem*... man has been (supposedly) revealed as... DAVID FUCKING GEFFEN?!!

What???

This is such a disappointing reveal on so many levels.

First of all, David Geffen? She a queen gurl! Look, I can see David Geffen wearing an apricot scarf and when I do imagine him he is often indeed "gavotting." I also have no doubt in my mind that Carly Simon may have been a psychotic fag hag back in the day. However, the story at this point is that Simon wrote the song at a time when she felt Geffen was giving stronger promotional support to Joni Mitchell.

If Elton John had recorded this song... the David Geffen thing might make sense. Hell, if David Bowie had recorded it, it would make sense. But to think that Simon's always sort of obnoxious but playful post break up dirge is actually about resentment towards Joni Mitchell?

All of this has come about via a new recording of the song. Apparently, if you play the newly recorded version of the song backwards, you can hear Simon whispering the name "David".

Now here's where I am coming from with all the "supposedly", and "allegedly"... I have listened to this clip. To me, when played forwards you hear Simon say the words "wee wee". When you hear the song played in reverse, it sounds to me that Simon is again, saying "wee wee".

Ummm..."Wee wee".

If you are like me and are just not technologically hip enough to have a record player, you can listen to the clip here.

I don't want to believe that Geffen and Simon were ever romantic. I don't want to believe that Simon was ever that resentful of Mitchell. I don't want to believe that Warren Beatty isn't the one who put those clouds in Carly's coffee.

So for now I'm just gonna keep hearing "wee wee" ... and continue to enjoy Carly Simon.

Love Me,

Dan

You can buy tickets for MY AiDS at athandtheatre.com